October & November In A Nutshell

     Happy December!  Which is strange to say because a week ago, I almost wrote the date as October in my journal, until I checked my phone, and it said December 1st... I kind of just stared at the ceiling after that and contemplated whether or not this was a good thing or a bad thing.  Yes, Christmas Eve is less than three weeks away which is a great thing.  Also, 2016 is right around the corner which is neither bad nor exhilarating for that only gives me one more year until graduation.  This is in fact terrifying.

     But hey, life must go on whether I'm ready for it or not, right?  This now brings me to my next topic of discussion:  Where did I go and what have I been up to?

Well, let me tell you.

    Out of politeness, I should say I'm sorry.  I am more than fully aware of my absence on my blog.  However,  I'm tired of apologizing for my lack of writing on here.  In my time away, I have discovered new hopes, dreams, and goals.  I even have a fresh list of topics I'm excited to blog about.  I just pray I have the strength to actually fulfill my wishes and, for once, not procrastinate.  

In the meantime, welcome to October...

      October was, I guess one could say, eventful.  From my town's annual Oktoberfest to homecoming to turning blueprints into a reality, October left me breathless.

   

---------------

Forty degree weather in summer dresses is an...experience.

---------------

     This would take up an entire post if I went into detail so I'll only explain this briefly.  Towards the end of October,  I was able to complete Phase One of my Girl Scout Gold Award project.  This is the highest honor in Girl Scouts, equivalent to Eagle Scout in Boy Scouts.  

     My complete project is going to be a 13,584 sq. ft.  nature area at a park in my town.  It's been quite the journey to make it a reality.  From having meetings with the town managers to giving presentations to strangers in order to raise money, it's been a life changing experience.

     I also made the front page of the local newspaper which is insane!  It's is also a great excuse to tell your parents when you don't feel like leaving the house.  "Oh, you know, Mom.  I just don't want to have to deal with the paparazzi right now."  

Welcome to November!  It mostly flew by in a blur.  School, work, repeat.  

      However, something I did do:  refurbished a desk.  It was old, it was ugly, and it was outdated so I took it upon myself to wash it and paint it.  It was unrecognizable in its new fresh layer of glossy black paint.

     This desk means a lot to me.  Not just because it belonged to my deceased grandma, but because for some ridiculous reason, I blamed all of my procrastination habits on this desk.

If my desk was finished, I'd blog more.

If my desk was finished, my school work would be done sooner.

If my desk was finished, everything would get done when it was supposed to.

   On and on and on it went!  I did this for months considering it was my plan to have this finished before summer, but instead, it didn't happen until a few weeks ago.  Even now, I use it. I have my dreams for it, but I'm wondering if I'm going to start blaming my laziness on something else or not.  It's all somewhat ridiculous.

*face palms self*

 Dream big, Darlings!

Northern Lights || Music

She's tired of thinking till the sun comes up... her body aches when she's awake.

~~~~

I want to touch the Northern Lights.  We could leave the world behind.  

I want to know what it's like to walk away from this life.

+ + + + +

     Dream big, Darlings! 

Vinyl Love

    crackle and static behind the piercing sounds of a voice carrying through the speakers.

vinyl love

your mind's up and above the stars just casually drifting into oblivion.

vinyl love

am I sitting in front of a vanity mirror with rollers in my hair through a vintage filter or am I laying in the bed of my New York City apartment with wide windows that look out and over the skyline?

the past or the future?

vinyl love

the music stops, the needle returns to its original position, your daydreams come to a halt, you open your eyes, your present life returns in grey colors.

vinyl love

     I inherited my grandma and grandpa's record player a few months ago after they both passed away.  My dad, aunts, and uncles grew up listening to the same distant cackles and static through the same speakers.  It's all very nostalgic.

Dream big, Darlings!

Summer Bookhaul

      Have you ever told someone that you've spent $60 on books in one sitting?  No, I'm not talking about you mom or your best friend because this no longer comes as a shock to them.  I'm talking about a person who knows you, but doesn't know you.  Maybe one of the friends that you only see on the weekends or at school?  What do you think they'd say?  How do you think they'd react?  If the world is in your favor, they might say, "Oh my gosh! Finally!  I thought I was the only one!"  But let's be honest here, that only happens in our dreams or over the internet.  In reality (and I'm coming from personal experience here), they're going to do a double take, open their eyes very wide to the point where you think they're going to fall out of his/her head, and say, "YOU DID WHAT!?"  You see, I made the mistake of telling this to The Boy about two months ago.  We happened to be going on a short little road trip and he was going on and on about some person I didn't care much about so I stopped him and said, "Let's not talk about people.  I don't like talking about people."

     "But there's nothing else to talk about."  He said.

     "Sure there is!  We can talk about things, places, dreams, and travels.  Stuff like that."

     "Alright.  Well then, how was your weekend?"

     So, naturally, it slipped out that I went to a freaking three story bookstore and before that, I went to another bookstore.  And then out of my mouth it came!  "Andddd I spent $60 on books at this really cool used books bookstore in this little hippy town down in Kentucky."  Double-take.  Wide eyes.  "YOU DID WHAT!?"  Staring.  Speechlessly staring.

Omg, this boy now thinks I'm some kind of book freak who spends her nights laughing and crying over books every night.  He's probably picturing me stuffing my face with ice cream with a pair of  taped glasses sitting on the bridge of my nose while counting how much money I have left to spend on books!  What have I done!?

     Newsflash:  he got over it.

     Word of advise:  use your words carefully.
   

     This post is not about my traumatic experience with a boy knowing a little more about myself than I would of liked him to though.  It's about the books I spent my first $100 bill on at a hippy town's used bookstore and a few other books that found their way into my life.

     Ever since I discovered BookTube (roughly two+ years ago), I've wanted to do my own bookhaul and guess what happened this summer!?  I spent a lot of money on books! 

     My newest possessions:

Les Miserables by Victor Hugo - $10 at the three story bookstore
Vampire Diaries: The Return: Nightfall by L.J. Smith - used bookstore
Twilight by Stephenie Meyer - used bookstore
The Bane Chronicles by Cassandra Clare - $4 at Ollie's
Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare - used bookstore
Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare - used bookstore
Dreamland by Sarah Dessen - $1 at Goodwill
Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen - used bookstore
Gossip Girl: Nobody Does It Better by Cecily von Ziegesar - used bookstore
Gossip Girl: Nothing Can Keep Us Together by Cecily von Ziegesar - used bookstore
Gossip Girl: Only In Your Dreams by Cecily von Ziegesar - used bookstore
Black City by Elizabeth Richards - $3 at Ollie's
Phoenix by Elizabeth Richards - $3 at Ollie's
Never Fade by Alexandra Bracken - used bookstore
The Scottish Prisoner by Diana Gabaldon - $4 at Ollie's
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling - used bookstore
Doctor Sleep by Stephen King - $4 at Ollie's
Sea Breeze boxset (Breathe, Because of Low, While It Lasts, Just For Now) by Abbi Glines - $6 at Ollie's

Dream big, Darlings!

Here's to the End of My Summer Shenanigans

     I have often throughout my life been compared to a snake.  The sun and heat comes out, my brain and body is ready to take on anything and do a little bit of everything.  The sun hides and the cold returns, the only thing running is my nose.  My body and brain shut down and I become a walking zombie.  Run away from me as fast as possible because it might be contagious!  So when I say that I REALLY don't want summer to end, I REALLY don't want summer to end!

     It's been awhile since I have said, "This summer was my favorite summer."  But, hey, this summer was my all time favorite summer.  I made new friends, I found new music, I had new experiences, and I learned a little more about me.  This list continues though...

oh, does the list continue...

I flew a kite.

I ding dong ditched someone.

I create a sick shirt.

I chalked up multiple driveways.

I went to a high school party.

I saw multiple shooting stars.  

     I went to the drive-in movies.

     I went to Catholic Family Land.

I had a pet fish.

I got a tan tattoo. 

I laid on the road in the middle of the night.

I played truth-or-dare.

I rode my bike to the Tasty Treat.

I had a campfire.

I watched fireworks.

I went to the Country Fest.

I went to Tennessee.

I made butter beer.

I did something that scares me.

I watched a horror movie.

I broke the law.

I turned seventeen.

I drove the truck out one weekend.

I saw Anna.

I caught fireflies.

I decorated a stop sign.

I blog. blog. blogged.

I ate something new.

I played never have I ever.

I got an iPhone.

I went hiking.

I threw a penny into a fountain.

I went to a book store.  

                                                                                                                 

I went to two concerts.

I went to a wedding.

I went to Aunt Sheri's.

I went on a shopping spree.

I created a summer playlist.

I visited a cemetery past midnight.

I went on lots of unwritten adventures.

    

          climbed a silo, ran through a sunflower field, rode my bike 15 miles, crept into a "haunted" abandoned house, experienced infinity, and so on. 

      One summer down, many to go.

 Dream big, Darlings!

The Summer Night of August 15th

           (this post is a continuation of this post.)

     If you've made it this far, officer of the law, I expect that you've accepted my explanation for the activities that have taken place before.  If you've felt captured enough to continue on to read this post, I am going to ask you once again to simply read this post with an open mind and remember that you were once a dumb teenager yourself many years ago.  You, therefore, cannot judge the words that are about to follow these.  

     So here, my friends, is part two...

7:30pm - Convince Mom to let me drive the big truck out.  There's nothing I love more than to see men turn their heads at its size and sound.  They always double take when they see me in the driver's seat.  I feel like a woman of power.

7:35pm - Pick him up and cruise out of town.  I tell him I am going to take advantage of the fact that I have the steering wheel of a big truck in my hands that is for once under my control.  He laughs and says, "Alright!"

7:45pm - Pull into an empty church parking lot and let him take the wheel.  He looks like a kid on Christmas morning and this time, I am the one laughing.

8:00pm - T drives his "creeper van" through the McDonald's drive-thru to cone* one.  He chickens out and fails the mission.  Rules #1, #3, #4, and #5 are broken.
                 *Coning - The action of one ordering an ice cream cone through a fast-food drive-thru.  When receiving the cone, one then grabs the actual ice cream rather than the cone.  One then floors the gas peddle and drives away leaving ice cream all over their hand and a very confused employee standing inside the pick-up window.  

8:30pm - R, A, myself, and The Boy attempt the cinnamon challenge.  We make the mistake of picking up cinnamon from his house resulting in very frantic parents and a distressed little sister on his part.  By the time we arrive at my house to do the challenge, he has texts and phone calls from his family explaining the risks we are taking on our lives by doing this challenge.  Of course, we're stupid and do it anyways.  We survive though and not one of us chokes or gags on the burning cinnamon.  We are actually very disappointed in the lack of excitement it gives us.

9:00pm - He wants to feel infinite so I let my non-licensed and non-permitted little brother drive the truck down some back roads.  J pushes the peddle down farther and farther and the speedometer climbs higher and higher.  The Boy stands up on the back of the truck and shouts into the air.  Every part of me wants to clamber up and grab his hand so we can feel infinite together.  I don't though because there are four other people watching and an infinite moment between two people deserves privacy.  Instead, I watch until he eventually sits down because J has reached 95mph.  I think we all have death wishes.

9:20pm - He throws my favorite cheap flip flop on the roof of the YMCA.  I slap him, laugh, and throw my other one.  I still miss those shoes.

9:40pm - Sit around for about an hour watching the gang bicker and chicken out of the upcoming task, steal a street sign.

10:30pm - We take off, leaving two boys behind, and drive for twenty minutes until we find the only sign that is up for the task.  You see, this sign is special because it's the largest road sign I have ever seen with the large bold letters, "FINK".  What is "fink"?  Who is "fink"?  I am convinced that John Green could write a flawless novel on what or who "fink" is.

11:00pm - "Fink" is tall.  Like really tall.  Like so tall that I have to stand on my 6'2" brother's shoulders in order to reach the actual sign.  The Boy hands me the tools and as fast as I can, I unscrew the bolts, slide the sign off its post, hand the sign to him, and climb off J's shoulders.  Then suddenly, "CAR!"  We run to R's car but I'm the last one to make it there and by that time, the car's doors have automatically locked.  For half a second, I make eye contact with him through the window and I can see the panic in his eyes.  It's the same panic that's in my eyes.  The car's coming closer so I do the second thing on my mind, run.  I run into the nearest field and literally dive beneath the bean plants.  I lay down staring at the stars and listen as they drive away and the upcoming car stops...and then moves on.  Phew.

11:30pm - We come back to town feeling victorious.

12:00am - C, The Boy, and I chalk up the road.  We trace our body shapes over the pavement.

12:30am - He drives my truck to his house and we jump out, leaving grumpy J in the passenger seat.  We take off through his back yard and across the road with chalk in our hands.  One last driveway that looks a little too chalkless.  We stare at it in the dark for a second and then start labeling everything.  "Car" *pointing arrow*.  "Sidewalk" *pointing arrow*.  "Hula hoop" *pointing arrow*.  We acknowledge our work and run back to the truck.  I feel the urge again to kiss him on the cheek goodbye, but there's my little brother in the passenger seat.  As we wave goodbye to each other, we make eye contact that for a moment stops time.  I can feel the gravitational pull between us.  I can see it in his eyes that he also doesn't feel like a simple goodbye is enough, but we smile and he goes one way and I go the other.

1:00am - I lay in bed thinking what a crazy world we live in.

Dream big, Darlings!