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Friday, July 29, 2016

I CAN "ADULT" NOW!


     On July 7th, 1998, a national treasure was born...just kidding, it was just me.  Just little baby girl me with tufts of blonde hair and chunky little thighs, apparently the exact replica of the Gerber Baby. Or at least that's what I've been told.

     As a child, my birthday was always something to look forward to because, you know, there were presents and cake.  As I got older, I still looked forward to it but I also felt uneasy.  I began to identify myself as and was proud to be "the girl who looked older than she was because of her height".  I feared that I'd lose this "identity" if my age number kept going up and I stopped growing.  Even older yet, I began to cry in my room on my birthday when I thought no one could hear me because I felt dissatisfied with what I had accomplished the year before and that time was simply moving too fast.  But on this last July 7th, I woke up that morning feeling completely different, almost renewed.  I was eighteen.  

I am 18.

Here's what's blissful about 18:

     When you wake up and realize you're 18, you wake up to realize that despite the fact that as a young girl you pictured yourself at 18 as being a popular, confident, decent sized boob kind of gal, you're not her.  You're you.  The greatest thing about it is that now you finally can accept that.  In my first morning of "adulthood", I just laughed and smiled with my head on my pillow while staring at the ceiling and for the first time accepted that I have itty bitty titties, stick legs, no butt, and nothing-special brown hair.  It 'twas a beautiful feeling.  Honest.  
     I'm not popular either and I realized that that too was who I am.  I couldn't handle popularity anyways.  It's hard enough for me to be on time to anything, not get bored of anything, and let alone respond to one text message.  It'd simply be too much work for me to handle.  And that's okay.  
     Sure, I'm not as confident as I thought I'd be going into adulthood but that's okay too.  Everything is okay because I now believe that I am okay.  I don't have my dream figure, boys falling at my feet, money coming out of my ears, and success in everything that I do, but, once again, that's okay.  It's a beautiful feeling.  Honest.

     Eighteen is still a wee bit intimidating of course.  Just the other day, I was shopping at Marshalls and the cashier asked if I wanted to open up a credit card with them.  Yikes because for the first time, I legally could say yes to her question...and I did but I ended up signing something wrong so I have go back in and get a new card...typical.  :)))

Setting all sarcasm aside, my favorite part of being 18 are the two one liners from my parents,  "Just because you're an adult, doesn't mean you can do that."  "You're an adult now, Sarah, start acting like one."

Just kidding!  That was definitely sarcasm!

I'm curious, how did you feel about turning 18 and if you're not 18, what are you expecting?


Dream big, Darlings!


8 comments:

  1. I love this post. The way you addressed accepting who you are at 18 and not who you thought you would be in a sarcastic yet real way was well done. <- that's a messy sentence. I'm 19 now and I still feel dependent and younger than my age. Turning 18 I felt good but also a little worried because I am someone who doesn't want to grow up or have responsibility. However, we all need to step up to adulthood at one point or another.

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    1. I always love reading your comments, Vanessa! <3 I'm thrilled you liked this post and yeh, I've still got some mild fears of responsibility too...alright, no, I've still got some BIG fears of responsibility...I've got to learn to cope with it/get over it someday, I guess!

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  2. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! I'm not yet eighteen, and to be completely honest the idea scares me to death, haha. But I love how you've come to these realizations, and I just have to say that I personally think you're quite beautiful. :)

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    1. THANK YOU, THANK YOU! Haha! It used to scare me to death too but then something just kind of clicked into place and it wasn't so intimidating!

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  3. Happy Birthday! This is so inspiring and wonderful and I'm so happy for you! <3
    -Vivian

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    1. Thank you and oooooohhh that makes me so happy!

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