Saturday, February 13, 2016

My Messed Up Teenage Romance

     *strokes chin and questions if this is a good idea*

Take a risk, Sarah!  Okay!

     Life tends to be hilariously ironic sometimes.  As an example, since I was a little girl, I've always told myself that I would only be with men who are a) taller than me, and b) older than me.  The irony of this is that the only boy to ever really catch my eye was a) the exact (and I mean EXACT) same height as me, and b) a little over two weeks younger than me.  Irony. 

     So let's rewind the clock to last summer.  Free time was endless, the days were hot, and something was out there.  That something being, of course, feelings that I never knew, quite frankly, I possessed.  They came when a boy and yes, I mean "The Boy" from this post and this post, caught my attention.   He was different from the others, suave, confident, funny, and was so...individual and strong and himself.  He was very much himself.  If I could tell you his name, I would, but I don't trust the internet that much.  Oh, and we also had a LOT in common.  To the point where I still think we're the same person, just opposite genders...if that makes sense.

     So there began my mission to win this boy over and, let me tell you, I was and still am clueless when it comes to trying to catch a male's full attention.  The only thing I know how to do is friendzone 'em.  But this ended up working to my advantage because first, I discovered he liked one of my very close friends.  Second, I told myself that if I couldn't be his girlfriend, I'd be his best friend so guess what happened?  My close friend didn't return his feelings and tada!  One day, he discovered how oddly alike we were and we changed best friends to boyfriend-girlfriend.  

     Dating is weird.  It's fun but it's weird.  Weird, weird, weird.  It's fun in a way that you discover a person who you can connect with, become best friends with, and create new memories with.  And trust me, there were a few.  From awkward confrontations with cops to awkward family weddings to everything awkward that comes with a first relationship.  A lot of memories.  But through the fun, I discovered a very important factor about myself.  I was not made for relationships.  I don't mean in any form or way that every relationship is like this, of course.  This is all just my personal weird opinion.  
     It began to bother me when I couldn't go anywhere alone without someone asking me where he was or why he wasn't with me.  It perturbed me when people asked how we were even together when we didn't text or see each other 24/7.  If you aren't each others #1 bestfriend on SnapChat, are you really dating?  I began to cower away from him.  It was like the whole world thought we were supposed to be one and all I wanted was an easygoing high school relationship.  Every time I was with him, I could no longer see what I saw the first time I saw him.  I saw only our future and that, itself, was nonexistent.  My dreams outgrew his by infinity.  Looking at it now, it was all so very sad.  I secretly despised his compliments that he'd give me.  I even stopped laughing as much because he once told me his favorite thing was my smile.  I wanted him to like me but I didn't want him to like me and I wanted to like him but I was too afraid to grow close in case I began to like him.  It wasn't healthy and I see that now.
     But this isn't supposed to be my depressing life lesson, to wait until I'm ready with what comes with a relationship.  Yes, I did break it off on New Years Eve morning because I'm a savage human being and yes, I might of smiled and laughed through my entire speech that I ended up forgetting when the time came, which makes me an even more savage human being.  But two months later, we're great friends.  He actually comes over to my house a lot because he happens to get along really well with my little brother.  We still talk, we still joke and pick on each other,  and, yeah, there's always the elephant in the room that likes to remind us that we once were more than friends, but we're happy and that's what matters.  Everything's for the best now, I've resurfaced from my metaphorical coma, and I'm finally starting to feel like me again. 

     My lesson here, is that you should never get into something you're not ready to put your time into.  I do NOT regret my first relationship at all because I've learned a lot about myself and it actually was really fun most of the time, but I think I jumped into it too quickly without really thinking it through.  Just be careful, think before you do, and if you think he/she's the one, love fearlessly.  He deserved to be loved and appreciated, but in my case, I could only do that by being just friends with him.  Know what you want.  It's important.

P.S.  Still the queen of friendzoning and I might of also broken up with him because I have major commitment issues and just really missed being single. And, boy, does it feel good.  (<--Savage)

Dream big, Darlings!

Monday, February 1, 2016

An Overpass, 21c, and The Seelbach Hotel

 "Half the fun of travel is the aesthetic of lostness."
- Ray Bradbury

     About once a month or two, I'll go through this phase where my brain stops, but goes crazy all at the same time.  I'll catch myself gazing out windows, tuning out people's conversations, or stalking Alex Centomo on YouTube.  Why?  Because I get bored of waking up to the same old things and I get bored of the same old conversations!  So what do I do?  I travel three hours down south to go on a two day adventure filled with culture and shenanigans with my favorite person, Kayla. 

     Sometime around 9:00pm on the brisk evening of January 29th, Kayla and I buckled ourselves into Kayla's car and our so called adventure began.  First, I was able to finally meet Kayla's group of friends who I must are some of the coolest people I have ever met.  They use big words when speaking, have very impressive vinyl collections, and really seem to understand/see the world as it is, a place of opportunities and infinite beauty.  I know that you wild bunch of beautiful souls are not reading this but, I'd like to say that you are all truly amazing.

     Second, Kayla and her "gang" took me to a magical place.  I know you must be thinking that this magical place had to of been a bookstore but no, it was an overpass.  We had to walk through a park, some trees, and then there it was, a cement ledge and beneath that, two tunnels where cars passed to and from.  Despite the cold air, it was breathtaking. So there we sat on the ledge, taking it in, huddling together, looking over the edge at the cars disappearing into the hillside, and time stood still.

     Naturally and unknowingly, the park closed at 11pm and we happened to be there at 12:30am so we got busted by the cops for trespassing.  Luckily, the kind gentlemen let us go without charges, but unfortunately, 3/4 of our "Adventure Crew" were spooked out by the cops and went home.  Those who remained were Kayla, A, and myself.  

     Onto the third adventure, shall we?  We hit up Waffle House and scarfed down two plates of golden hashbrowns. 

     Forth, Kayla drove A and I to downtown Louisville, which is beautiful by the way, where we visited a 24 hour modern art museum.  If I've got my facts right, I believe it is also a hotel which explains the 24 hour part.  This wonderful place is called 21c.  At 2am, we observed the strangest forms of art, closed off a room to turn down the lights so we could dance, took Polaroids, sneaked into the mens room to check out the rumored waterfall urinals, and lied on the floor in a dark room filled with exotic photography to talk about life. 

     Fifth, after exiting 21c feeling refreshed and cultured, we sprinted across the street to, I believe, the entrance to some kind of space museum because in front of the museum was this... 

And there, darlings, was day one.  

I take it back, A stole a traffic cone in the middle of the city and placed it in a stranger's yard.  Wild.


     Day two started later than Kayla and I wanted.  Here's a tip, if you want to be productive, don't sleep in a dark basement.  You won't wake up until noon.

     We went to the one and only Seelbach Hotel.  The story behind the Seelbach Hotel is that this very place was many many years ago visited by one of my favorite authors, F. Scott Fitzgerald.  It was here where inspiration struck him to write The Great Gatsby.  What's beautiful is that as I walked across its marble floor, I felt like I'd stepped into the story itself.  There was a wide open staircase with gold railings which wrapped around the second floor and a giant chandelier.  But really, there was gold just everywhere.  I will admit I was extremely intimidated by its exquisiteness.  Kayla and her sister had to practically drag me to the front door.  The hotel had valet and that to me is intimidating alone.  

     No, we did not stay in the Seelbach.  One day, I'd very much like to, but it's a bit out of my budget at the moment.  Instead, the three of us went there for lunch at their new restaurant called Gatsby's on Fourth. 

Believe it or not, the food was even better than it looks (10 OUT OF 10 QUESO).  Until next time...

Dream big, Darlings!