Thursday, July 30, 2015

Letters to my younger self.

Dear Beginning-of-Middle-School Me,

     You've got a bowl haircut, eyebrows that cover up half of your face, and a huge gap between your teeth.  I want to let you know that I approve.  Maybe a few years ago, I would of thought differently, but hey, you do you.  It didn't bother you at the time so I'm not going to let it bother me now.  It in a way defined you.
     However, we have close to nothing in common.  Even though you're me...doesn't make much sense.  Let me continue.  Little Sarah, country music is not the only music that exists in the world so expand your music habits!  Stop dreaming about having a boring little farm life and being the happiest old lady in the world with your old farmer husband! Go on an adventure and see the world!  Also, pick up The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen.  It will save future you and when I say "save", I mean you'll become a huge booknerd and reading will become your life.  This may sound bad to you, but it is actually GREAT.

Your friend           

Dear Seventh Grade Me,

     There is only one person in the world who I'd like to punch and that, Darling, is you.  I regret that you lasted as long as you did.  Shame, shame, shame.  You should of been shot down.  Where should I begin?  You're selfish, judgmental, basic, mean, etc.  I think you are in need of some lessons from your future self:
     1.  Stop trying to be like everyone else because it will get you nowhere!  You will be much happier if you'd just connect with your inner you and embrace it.  You may of had this cool vision of yourself being popular and preppy when you are seventeen, but I am here to tell you that all of your friends call you either Sasha, Izzy, Nanny, Mom, or occasionally Helen Keller.  I don't even know how these nicknames came about, but that's who you are when you're seventeen.
     2.  Stop flirting with all the dudes and wishing you had a boyfriend every second of everyday!  Yes, I'm sure a boyfriend would be great, but future you is here to tell you that when you're seventeen, you will not be kissed nor have a boyfriend because you accidentally friend zone everybody. IT'S FOR REAL A CURSE. (Present me, stop this.)  Focus less on boys and more on finding yourself.
     3.  I can't think of anything.  Just change everything about yourself and you'll do just fine.  Actually...

...oh wait, you don't deserve love.  Burn!   

Dear eighth grade me,

     This is the time in life where puberty's not in your favor.  Suddenly pimples are everywhere and you decide the best thing for you to do is shun yourself from the outside world.  You for the first and only time, truly hate yourself and what you see in the mirror.  You spend most of your time dreaming about the day you walk out the door without hiding behind your own hair.  You, in a way, hate the world.  I know you may not see it now, but one day you'll be thankful for this hell you had to experience.  It was the two years of hiding in your house where you discovered what the world had to offer and you discovered yourself.  If it wasn't for you,  Seventh Grade Sarah might of lived for eternity and that would of been very BAD.   You found your personality and everything else that created the person you are today.  Thanks, bae.

The girl who understands and believes in you.    

Dear Me of Now,

     Excuse me, Stranger Reading This, this is of no means a weird thing happening.  It's just me having a conversation with myself.  People do it all the time!  When I say "people", I mean my Mom when she thinks no one is around...
      Sarah/Sasha/Izzy/Nanny/Mom,  you've got to be the strangest person God has ever created.  You occasionally talk to people (mostly your little brother) in a wacked up squeaky voice and call your brother Juan, Shuan, or Shuanion.  I don't know why but it sure is fun!  You're seventeen and still don't know how to flirt with boys.  You somehow manage to friend zone boys without realizing it because you're just that natural around them.  I'm not sure if I should be mad or impressed!  You're family thinks you read and dream too much.  Pshhhhh, you're sane and that's all that matters!  Okay, this is getting weird.  Bye...me?

A really awesome chick.     

       I hope you enjoyed this?  I don't know, but I'm going to a One Direction concert tomorrow night and I am FREAKING OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S.  This post was inspired by my new friend, Nine.  Check her out!  >>> here<<<

Dream big, Darling!

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

My fear of falling (literally)!


lol nope

    I waited in line for the 30 foot jump.  Up, up, up we climbed.  My other friend, A, and best friend, R, talked to each other about who knows what (obviously I had other things on my mind than to listen to them!) and the two cute boys who were friends of R's older brother also joined in on the conversation.  Me?  I was repeating to myself, "I am Tris Prior.  I am Dauntless.  I can do this!  I can do this because the little boy in front of us is like eight years old and he won't stop talking about how much he loves jumping off this 30ft platform!  If he can do it, I can do it! I AM TRIS PRIOR!"  This, unfortunately, is false.  Suddenly, it was my turn and every bone in my body was saying, "No way, Jose!" Every thought in my mind was saying, "Just DO IT!  You cannot make yourself look like a coward in front of these two very attractive males!  Stop being a wussy!  YOU ARE FREAKING TRIS PRIOR!" 

lol nope

     I am not Tris Prior and, yes, I chickened out and walked my walk of shame down to the bottom of the stairs to see my four friends leaning over the railing anxiously waiting for me to come falling down into the water so they could hoorah! and give me a slap on the back saying, "See? That wasn't so bad!"  False.  This did not happen because a).  I am a coward.  b).  I am apparently not Dauntless.  and c).  No matter how much I wanted to impress those boys (which I really wanted to do), I could not step off that 30ft jump.

I did push myself off the 20ft jump which felt like I was plummeting to my death and other odious things.
     It's only twenty feet.  

One foot in front of the other.  Don't stop and look down.

  Just jump.  

one step...
                two steps...
                                  three steps...

There's nothing below me.

Just the water which is coming faster and faster.

Nothing carrying me, nothing supporting me.

I'm going to die! 

My stomach's in my mouth!

I'm dying! 

Scream! ...  Why is it soundless!?

Here comes the water!


Water everywhere.

I need air.

There it is.  

I am never doing that again.

...But hey, that zipline doesn't look so scary anymore.

     It's really not the heights that scare me because in all honestly, I LOVE heights!  But the falling, the falling is dreadful!  Please help me understand why I want to go skydiving so bad when I can't even drop 30ft.!?  What even!?!  I really do confuse myself... I'm going to be unconscious before I even get out of the damn plane.   I suppose I should get over this fear ASAP.  Oh well.

Dream big, Darling!

Friday, July 24, 2015

Thoughts and Tips on Journaling

My thoughts...

     To me, words have been an addiction.  Of course, it wasn't always that way.  At the start, they were annoying and difficult, but then they grew into a form of art and that art became my drug.  Today, words are my future.  I'm writing a book, I'm the author of this blog, and I'm a daily journal-er.  
     I think of journaling as a form of expression.  It can be a hate book, an adventure book, a book of joyful thoughts, or all of the above.  For little me, it was once nothing but a goal that I, year after year, failed to accomplish.  It was a consecutive item on my new year's resolutions.  But no worries, I finally decided to stop disappointing myself and today, I have a thick red notebook that sits under my pillow with entrees from today to January 1st.  Every thought and idea from every single day is written on those pages and here's how I did it...

My tips...

Number one:  It's easy to get one entree down on paper but it's even easier to stop completely and give up. Don't do this! Keep going and eventually, it'll turn into a habit.

Number two:  Like everything, your writing needs a motivator.  I like to think that maybe my journal will get buried at the bottom of a chest in an old attack and a stranger will find it.  Or maybe my great-great-grandchildren will stumble upon it.  Could you imagine finding your ancestor's journal full of her life and experiences!?  I know it's cheesy but this is my motivator.

Number three:  Discover your writing style!  You can write about your day, your frequent thoughts, music, experiences, adventures, anything!  I think of my journal as a ghost in my room who I tell everything to.  I'm at the point where if something exciting happens when I'm out and about, I look forward to coming home and writing it down more than coming home to sleep! 

Number four:  Several times a year, you're going to stumble across writer's block.  You're going to not feel like writing nor have anything to write about.  But you MUST write no matter what!  Write about your frustration with writer's block to push through writer's block.

Number five:  If you're on vacation or sleeping over at a friends house and you can't find the time to write, do it the next morning or when you find the time throughout the day.  I've had to do this multiple times!  It's not a big deal just try not to fall behind.

   What I'm trying to say is that you're NEVER going to regret what you wrote but what you didn't write.  Everything you experience is worth writing about.  Not only will writing help you get things off of your chest, but it will also improve your writing in general.

     I hope these few tips will help you!  If you have any further questions, comment below!

Dream big, Darlings!

Monday, July 20, 2015

Clothing Haul

     What does a girl love more than shopping!?  (For me it's books but that's besides the point.)  We love it because it's the easiest way to express ourselves, to feel fabulous, and to have a productive afternoon with friends.  Unfortunately, I went with my mom but it was all the more fun!

 Maroon Skirt:                                         Printed Skirt:
Store:  Forever 21                                    Store:  Forever 21
          Price:  $10.99                                          Price:  On sale for $8.99

 Striped Dress:                                         Red Dress:
          Store:  Forever 21                                    Store:  Forever 21
    Price:  $9.99                                             Price:  $14.99

Printed Dress:                                        Two Striped Shirts:
Store:  H & M                                          Store:  H & M
                                Price: $9.99                                              Price: 2 for $10

     Store:  Peebles
    Price:  $29.99

(Not shown)
Strapless Bra:
Store:  Victoria's Secret
Price:  $40.00
(Expensive but amazing and worth it)

Dream big, Darlings!

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Tennessee // Biltmore

#77.  Throw a penny into a fountain.

Some adventures are too beautiful for words.

Dream big, Darlings!

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

I'm seventeen.

Seventeen.  Holy crap.

     As a child, I thought of seventeen year old girls as wise beautiful rebellious models.  Seventeen to me always showed itself as a wild age, they're no longer new to the world as a sixteen year old is but they're not mature enough to be in adulthood.  I'm seventeen.  I'm seventeen! Holy crap, I'm seventeen!  It all seems ridiculous since here I am now, as immature as ever! I'm still flat chested and have still never laid my lips on the opposite sex.  I still stutter occasionally with my words.  I dream more than I do.  I am 99% sure I am nowhere close to nearing the responsibilities of adulthood.

     But here I am, seventeen year old Sarah.  I'm going to expand my dreams and desires from the world.  Maybe pierce something.  Hopefully hit the period when puberty works its magic and I suddenly look like a goddess.  Will possibly but not likely meet my soul mate.  Perhaps I'll do something amazing and the world will know my name...finally.  Yeah, I'm banking on this all happening.  *laughs at self*

Dream big, Darlings!