Tuesday, December 8, 2015

October & November In A Nutshell

     Happy December!  Which is strange to say because a week ago, I almost wrote the date as October in my journal, until I checked my phone, and it said December 1st... I kind of just stared at the ceiling after that and contemplated whether or not this was a good thing or a bad thing.  Yes, Christmas Eve is less than three weeks away which is a great thing.  Also, 2016 is right around the corner which is neither bad nor exhilarating for that only gives me one more year until graduation.  This is in fact terrifying.
     But hey, life must go on whether I'm ready for it or not, right?  This now brings me to my next topic of discussion:  Where did I go and what have I been up to?

Well, let me tell you.

    Out of politeness, I should say I'm sorry.  I am more than fully aware of my absence on my blog.  However,  I'm tired of apologizing for my lack of writing on here.  In my time away, I have discovered new hopes, dreams, and goals.  I even have a fresh list of topics I'm excited to blog about.  I just pray I have the strength to actually fulfill my wishes and, for once, not procrastinate.  

In the meantime, welcome to October...

      October was, I guess one could say, eventful.  From my town's annual Oktoberfest to homecoming to turning blueprints into a reality, October left me breathless.



Forty degree weather in summer dresses is an...experience.

     This would take up an entire post if I went into detail so I'll only explain this briefly.  Towards the end of October,  I was able to complete Phase One of my Girl Scout Gold Award project.  This is the highest honor in Girl Scouts, equivalent to Eagle Scout in Boy Scouts.  

     My complete project is going to be a 13,584 sq. ft.  nature area at a park in my town.  It's been quite the journey to make it a reality.  From having meetings with the town managers to giving presentations to strangers in order to raise money, it's been a life changing experience.

     I also made the front page of the local newspaper which is insane!  It's is also a great excuse to tell your parents when you don't feel like leaving the house.  "Oh, you know, Mom.  I just don't want to have to deal with the paparazzi right now."  

Welcome to November!  It mostly flew by in a blur.  School, work, repeat.  

      However, something I did do:  refurbished a desk.  It was old, it was ugly, and it was outdated so I took it upon myself to wash it and paint it.  It was unrecognizable in its new fresh layer of glossy black paint.

     This desk means a lot to me.  Not just because it belonged to my deceased grandma, but because for some ridiculous reason, I blamed all of my procrastination habits on this desk.

If my desk was finished, I'd blog more.

If my desk was finished, my school work would be done sooner.

If my desk was finished, everything would get done when it was supposed to.

   On and on and on it went!  I did this for months considering it was my plan to have this finished before summer, but instead, it didn't happen until a few weeks ago.  Even now, I use it. I have my dreams for it, but I'm wondering if I'm going to start blaming my laziness on something else or not.  It's all somewhat ridiculous.
*face palms self*

 Dream big, Darlings!

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Northern Lights || Music

She's tired of thinking till the sun comes up... her body aches when she's awake.


I want to touch the Northern Lights.  We could leave the world behind.  

I want to know what it's like to walk away from this life.

+ + + + +

     Dream big, Darlings! 

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Vinyl Love

    crackle and static behind the piercing sounds of a voice carrying through the speakers.

vinyl love

your mind's up and above the stars just casually drifting into oblivion.

vinyl love

am I sitting in front of a vanity mirror with rollers in my hair through a vintage filter or am I laying in the bed of my New York City apartment with wide windows that look out and over the skyline?
the past or the future?

vinyl love

the music stops, the needle returns to its original position, your daydreams come to a halt, you open your eyes, your present life returns in grey colors.

vinyl love

     I inherited my grandma and grandpa's record player a few months ago after they both passed away.  My dad, aunts, and uncles grew up listening to the same distant cackles and static through the same speakers.  It's all very nostalgic.

Dream big, Darlings!

Friday, September 4, 2015

Summer Bookhaul

      Have you ever told someone that you've spent $60 on books in one sitting?  No, I'm not talking about you mom or your best friend because this no longer comes as a shock to them.  I'm talking about a person who knows you, but doesn't know you.  Maybe one of the friends that you only see on the weekends or at school?  What do you think they'd say?  How do you think they'd react?  If the world is in your favor, they might say, "Oh my gosh! Finally!  I thought I was the only one!"  But let's be honest here, that only happens in our dreams or over the internet.  In reality (and I'm coming from personal experience here), they're going to do a double take, open their eyes very wide to the point where you think they're going to fall out of his/her head, and say, "YOU DID WHAT!?"  You see, I made the mistake of telling this to The Boy about two months ago.  We happened to be going on a short little road trip and he was going on and on about some person I didn't care much about so I stopped him and said, "Let's not talk about people.  I don't like talking about people."

     "But there's nothing else to talk about."  He said.

     "Sure there is!  We can talk about things, places, dreams, and travels.  Stuff like that."

     "Alright.  Well then, how was your weekend?"

     So, naturally, it slipped out that I went to a freaking three story bookstore and before that, I went to another bookstore.  And then out of my mouth it came!  "Andddd I spent $60 on books at this really cool used books bookstore in this little hippy town down in Kentucky."  Double-take.  Wide eyes.  "YOU DID WHAT!?"  Staring.  Speechlessly staring.

Omg, this boy now thinks I'm some kind of book freak who spends her nights laughing and crying over books every night.  He's probably picturing me stuffing my face with ice cream with a pair of  taped glasses sitting on the bridge of my nose while counting how much money I have left to spend on books!  What have I done!?

     Newsflash:  he got over it.

     Word of advise:  use your words carefully.

     This post is not about my traumatic experience with a boy knowing a little more about myself than I would of liked him to though.  It's about the books I spent my first $100 bill on at a hippy town's used bookstore and a few other books that found their way into my life.

     Ever since I discovered BookTube (roughly two+ years ago), I've wanted to do my own bookhaul and guess what happened this summer!?  I spent a lot of money on books! 

     My newest possessions:

Les Miserables by Victor Hugo - $10 at the three story bookstore
Vampire Diaries: The Return: Nightfall by L.J. Smith - used bookstore
Twilight by Stephenie Meyer - used bookstore
The Bane Chronicles by Cassandra Clare - $4 at Ollie's
Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare - used bookstore
Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare - used bookstore
Dreamland by Sarah Dessen - $1 at Goodwill
Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen - used bookstore
Gossip Girl: Nobody Does It Better by Cecily von Ziegesar - used bookstore
Gossip Girl: Nothing Can Keep Us Together by Cecily von Ziegesar - used bookstore
Gossip Girl: Only In Your Dreams by Cecily von Ziegesar - used bookstore
Black City by Elizabeth Richards - $3 at Ollie's
Phoenix by Elizabeth Richards - $3 at Ollie's
Never Fade by Alexandra Bracken - used bookstore
The Scottish Prisoner by Diana Gabaldon - $4 at Ollie's
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling - used bookstore
Doctor Sleep by Stephen King - $4 at Ollie's
Sea Breeze boxset (Breathe, Because of Low, While It Lasts, Just For Now) by Abbi Glines - $6 at Ollie's

Dream big, Darlings!

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Here's to the End of My Summer Shenanigans

     I have often throughout my life been compared to a snake.  The sun and heat comes out, my brain and body is ready to take on anything and do a little bit of everything.  The sun hides and the cold returns, the only thing running is my nose.  My body and brain shut down and I become a walking zombie.  Run away from me as fast as possible because it might be contagious!  So when I say that I REALLY don't want summer to end, I REALLY don't want summer to end!

     It's been awhile since I have said, "This summer was my favorite summer."  But, hey, this summer was my all time favorite summer.  I made new friends, I found new music, I had new experiences, and I learned a little more about me.  This list continues though...

oh, does the list continue...

I flew a kite.

I ding dong ditched someone.

I create a sick shirt.

I chalked up multiple driveways.

I went to a high school party.

I saw multiple shooting stars.  

     I went to the drive-in movies.

     I went to Catholic Family Land.

I had a pet fish.

I got a tan tattoo. 

I laid on the road in the middle of the night.

I played truth-or-dare.

I rode my bike to the Tasty Treat.

I had a campfire.

I watched fireworks.

I went to the Country Fest.

I went to Tennessee.

I made butter beer.

I did something that scares me.

I watched a horror movie.

I broke the law.

I turned seventeen.

I drove the truck out one weekend.

I saw Anna.

I caught fireflies.

I decorated a stop sign.

I blog. blog. blogged.

I ate something new.

I played never have I ever.

I got an iPhone.

I went hiking.

I threw a penny into a fountain.

I went to a book store.  

I went to two concerts.

I went to a wedding.

I went to Aunt Sheri's.

I went on a shopping spree.

I created a summer playlist.

I visited a cemetery past midnight.

I went on lots of unwritten adventures.
          climbed a silo, ran through a sunflower field, rode my bike 15 miles, crept into a "haunted" abandoned house, experienced infinity, and so on. 

      One summer down, many to go.

 Dream big, Darlings!

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

The Summer Night of August 15th

           (this post is a continuation of this post.)

     If you've made it this far, officer of the law, I expect that you've accepted my explanation for the activities that have taken place before.  If you've felt captured enough to continue on to read this post, I am going to ask you once again to simply read this post with an open mind and remember that you were once a dumb teenager yourself many years ago.  You, therefore, cannot judge the words that are about to follow these.  
     So here, my friends, is part two...

7:30pm - Convince Mom to let me drive the big truck out.  There's nothing I love more than to see men turn their heads at its size and sound.  They always double take when they see me in the driver's seat.  I feel like a woman of power.

7:35pm - Pick him up and cruise out of town.  I tell him I am going to take advantage of the fact that I have the steering wheel of a big truck in my hands that is for once under my control.  He laughs and says, "Alright!"

7:45pm - Pull into an empty church parking lot and let him take the wheel.  He looks like a kid on Christmas morning and this time, I am the one laughing.

8:00pm - T drives his "creeper van" through the McDonald's drive-thru to cone* one.  He chickens out and fails the mission.  Rules #1, #3, #4, and #5 are broken.
                 *Coning - The action of one ordering an ice cream cone through a fast-food drive-thru.  When receiving the cone, one then grabs the actual ice cream rather than the cone.  One then floors the gas peddle and drives away leaving ice cream all over their hand and a very confused employee standing inside the pick-up window.  

8:30pm - R, A, myself, and The Boy attempt the cinnamon challenge.  We make the mistake of picking up cinnamon from his house resulting in very frantic parents and a distressed little sister on his part.  By the time we arrive at my house to do the challenge, he has texts and phone calls from his family explaining the risks we are taking on our lives by doing this challenge.  Of course, we're stupid and do it anyways.  We survive though and not one of us chokes or gags on the burning cinnamon.  We are actually very disappointed in the lack of excitement it gives us.

9:00pm - He wants to feel infinite so I let my non-licensed and non-permitted little brother drive the truck down some back roads.  J pushes the peddle down farther and farther and the speedometer climbs higher and higher.  The Boy stands up on the back of the truck and shouts into the air.  Every part of me wants to clamber up and grab his hand so we can feel infinite together.  I don't though because there are four other people watching and an infinite moment between two people deserves privacy.  Instead, I watch until he eventually sits down because J has reached 95mph.  I think we all have death wishes.

9:20pm - He throws my favorite cheap flip flop on the roof of the YMCA.  I slap him, laugh, and throw my other one.  I still miss those shoes.

9:40pm - Sit around for about an hour watching the gang bicker and chicken out of the upcoming task, steal a street sign.

10:30pm - We take off, leaving two boys behind, and drive for twenty minutes until we find the only sign that is up for the task.  You see, this sign is special because it's the largest road sign I have ever seen with the large bold letters, "FINK".  What is "fink"?  Who is "fink"?  I am convinced that John Green could write a flawless novel on what or who "fink" is.

11:00pm - "Fink" is tall.  Like really tall.  Like so tall that I have to stand on my 6'2" brother's shoulders in order to reach the actual sign.  The Boy hands me the tools and as fast as I can, I unscrew the bolts, slide the sign off its post, hand the sign to him, and climb off J's shoulders.  Then suddenly, "CAR!"  We run to R's car but I'm the last one to make it there and by that time, the car's doors have automatically locked.  For half a second, I make eye contact with him through the window and I can see the panic in his eyes.  It's the same panic that's in my eyes.  The car's coming closer so I do the second thing on my mind, run.  I run into the nearest field and literally dive beneath the bean plants.  I lay down staring at the stars and listen as they drive away and the upcoming car stops...and then moves on.  Phew.

11:30pm - We come back to town feeling victorious.

12:00am - C, The Boy, and I chalk up the road.  We trace our body shapes over the pavement.

12:30am - He drives my truck to his house and we jump out, leaving grumpy J in the passenger seat.  We take off through his back yard and across the road with chalk in our hands.  One last driveway that looks a little too chalkless.  We stare at it in the dark for a second and then start labeling everything.  "Car" *pointing arrow*.  "Sidewalk" *pointing arrow*.  "Hula hoop" *pointing arrow*.  We acknowledge our work and run back to the truck.  I feel the urge again to kiss him on the cheek goodbye, but there's my little brother in the passenger seat.  As we wave goodbye to each other, we make eye contact that for a moment stops time.  I can feel the gravitational pull between us.  I can see it in his eyes that he also doesn't feel like a simple goodbye is enough, but we smile and he goes one way and I go the other.

1:00am - I lay in bed thinking what a crazy world we live in.

Dream big, Darlings!

Monday, August 17, 2015

The Summer Night of August 14th

     If you reading this are an officer of the law, return to whatever you were doing before you found my page.  If you decide to not do as I say, then accept this post and the activities it contains as what it is, acts of stupidity from a group of teenagers who are just trying to live up to the legend of being a teenager.   We did not break the law for fun.  We broke the law to discover what it was like before there were such things as laws.  We broke the law so we could feel the slightest effects of freedom.  So please, dear officer, judge us all you want but understand that at the end of the day, these are the stories we pass down to our children and these are the memories that live with us forever.

     It was a sudden strike of inspiration during an argument with my mother.
     "You have too much fun and have too high of expectations of life.  It is not supposed to be so fun-fun.  You need to stay home for awhile,"  She said to me.
     Little did she know that she was only turning on light-bulb after endless light-bulb.  As we watched each other, she talking and me half listening, I was surfing my thoughts repeatedly, trying to create something extraordinary.

     I didn't question what he'd think.  I just sent it.


1.  This list must be completed before school starts.
2.  It must not be done alone.
3.  You can not chicken out.
4.  You must do this.
5.  Do not question the list.

The List:

1.  Break into the Minster pool and do a cannon ball off the diving board.

2.  Steal a street sign and don't get caught.

3.  Decorate a stop sign with the words "NEVER {stop} DREAMING".

4.  Eat my first Twinkie because apparently I'm unAmerican for not having yet tried one. 

5.  Stand up on the back of a truck and feel infinite.

6.  Buy a quart of ice cream from Wagners and experience euphoria.

     Friday morning and afternoon felt like eternity. 

                                                                        Tick tock, 
                                                                                tick tock, 

                                                                                       tick tock.

7:30pm - Went to the annual outdoor mass with the family.

8:30pm - Skipped the outdoor rosary to break the law instead.  I'm a great person.  Pray for me.

9:00pm - Met up with him, A, T, R, and N.  

9:15pm - Bought a Twinkie.  This is where I say America, you disappoint me because Twinkies taste nothing like the freedoms of America.  In fact, they taste like nothing at all.  

9:20pm - Bought Graeter's black-raspberry chip ice cream.  I was the only one who appreciated it's scrumptious creamy and chocolate chunk flavor.  N and T had football practice in the morning so they abandoned the adventure.

9:40pm - Experienced infinity.  He drove us into nowhere land and he directed us at 55mph as we breathlessly flew between the corn fields that surrounded us.  One by one A, R, and myself stood up on the back of his truck, arms outstretched, Indie music blasting from the radio, in an effort to feel infinite.  

  10:00pm - Decorated a stop sign.  A little deeper into nowhere land, we came across the perfect stop sign for the task that was at hand.  The road was busy with traffic throughout the day and almost deserted throughout the night.  I pulled out my black paint and paintbrush and climbed onto R's shoulders.  Slowly, I painted on letter by letter.  Of course, it's only appropriate that during the process, a car would appear in the distance.  R and myself dove into the back of his truck (OUCH!) and A ran for the cornfield nearby.  It took us a good five + minutes until we could return to the sign, find A, and finish our masterpiece.  I regret nothing.

11:00pm - He shared his tiny list.

His List

Cover the town in side walk chalk in like random places just write stuff

Cone an ice cream cone at McDonald's

Cinnamon challenge??

And this is random but have any strange fears?

"Marriage and free falling."

Hmm well I don't think we can do either of those tonite!

11:30pm - Chalked up some driveways.

1:00am - Lie awake in bed listening to the rainstorm wash away everything.  He told me the next morning that he did the same thing. 

Dream big, Darlings     

Monday, August 10, 2015

5 Seconds of Summer Concert

     Concerts have funny ways of not sinking in.  It's been six days since 5SOS but, hey, I'm still trying to convince myself!  I remember it was amazing though!  K and I had front row balcony tickets, 5SOS played almost all of my favorite songs, and Ashton was a babe on the drums.  


     Epic story time:  After the concert while we were waiting for our ride, we saw girls sprinting to the side of the stadium outside so we strolled along to see what the excitement was all about.  Crowded along the street were girls, girls, girls!  We talked to some of them and they said they were there to watch 5SOS's tour bus come out.  OBVIOUSLY WE STAYED AND OBVIOUSLY IT WAS WORTH IT!!! 

Yellow and green blob is not tour bus.  Yellow and green blob is a rude vehicle who interrupted my panorama.
     Unfortunately, my video of the tour bus refuses to upload but Ashton leaned out and waved at us while the bus was passing by just a few yards ahead of us!!!  It was one of my favorite experiences of all time! 

     Sorry this post is late and choppy.  Ever since I've returned home, my life has consisted of working, golfing, and Girl Scout-ing.  How fun!  :(

Dream big, Darling!

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Midnight Memories || One Direction Concert

I saw One Direction

          I saw One Direction

                    I saw One Direction
                              I saw One Direction

                                        I saw One Direction

                                                  I saw One Direction

     It still is not sinking in and I don't think it ever will, unless I walk up to them, give them a hug, and whisper in their ear while stroking their face, "You're actually real."   For so long I've been dreaming of the day I would be able to see them in person and then two weeks ago, my cousin asked me to go to the Indianapolis concert with her!  You sweet sweet angel!
     The concert last night was insane.  Icona Pop opened for them first.  They were okay.  And then the worst part, the wait.  We sat there for an hour, waiting for everything to be in place and for the boys to walk on stage.  Once they dropped the lights, my heart stopped.  Then the crowd went insane!  But it  was just a guy from backstage checking something on stage.  Then it would happen again. And again.  And every time, I'd grab my cousins hand and scream, "I'm not ready!"  And then it happened.  The back of the stage opened and out walked four angels.  I died.  I actually died.

     They sang a variety of their songs from new to old.  Like brand new!  LIKE JUST CAME OUT BRAND NEW!!! THEY SANG THEIR NEW SONG, DRAG ME DOWN, FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! UGHHHHH!!! ADLKFJOASJLFJSODCIJLASDJFOK!!!!!! *dying...again*

     The only times it actually felt somewhat real was between songs when they would talk to the crowd.  My smile muscles were sore by the end of the night and somehow, I'm not hoarse.  I screamed every lyric, I don't know how I'm able to talk this morning. 



   Also, if you think their voices sound good in live videos on YouTube, THEY'RE 100000 MORE BEAUTIFUL IN REAL LIFE! LET THAT SINK IN! JUST LET IT! ALSKFJOSADJFLASKDJFOL!!

P.S. Sorry for my hard fangirling.  I just. Yeah.


Dream big, Darlings!

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Letters to my younger self.

Dear Beginning-of-Middle-School Me,

     You've got a bowl haircut, eyebrows that cover up half of your face, and a huge gap between your teeth.  I want to let you know that I approve.  Maybe a few years ago, I would of thought differently, but hey, you do you.  It didn't bother you at the time so I'm not going to let it bother me now.  It in a way defined you.
     However, we have close to nothing in common.  Even though you're me...doesn't make much sense.  Let me continue.  Little Sarah, country music is not the only music that exists in the world so expand your music habits!  Stop dreaming about having a boring little farm life and being the happiest old lady in the world with your old farmer husband! Go on an adventure and see the world!  Also, pick up The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen.  It will save future you and when I say "save", I mean you'll become a huge booknerd and reading will become your life.  This may sound bad to you, but it is actually GREAT.

Your friend           

Dear Seventh Grade Me,

     There is only one person in the world who I'd like to punch and that, Darling, is you.  I regret that you lasted as long as you did.  Shame, shame, shame.  You should of been shot down.  Where should I begin?  You're selfish, judgmental, basic, mean, etc.  I think you are in need of some lessons from your future self:
     1.  Stop trying to be like everyone else because it will get you nowhere!  You will be much happier if you'd just connect with your inner you and embrace it.  You may of had this cool vision of yourself being popular and preppy when you are seventeen, but I am here to tell you that all of your friends call you either Sasha, Izzy, Nanny, Mom, or occasionally Helen Keller.  I don't even know how these nicknames came about, but that's who you are when you're seventeen.
     2.  Stop flirting with all the dudes and wishing you had a boyfriend every second of everyday!  Yes, I'm sure a boyfriend would be great, but future you is here to tell you that when you're seventeen, you will not be kissed nor have a boyfriend because you accidentally friend zone everybody. IT'S FOR REAL A CURSE. (Present me, stop this.)  Focus less on boys and more on finding yourself.
     3.  I can't think of anything.  Just change everything about yourself and you'll do just fine.  Actually...

...oh wait, you don't deserve love.  Burn!   

Dear eighth grade me,

     This is the time in life where puberty's not in your favor.  Suddenly pimples are everywhere and you decide the best thing for you to do is shun yourself from the outside world.  You for the first and only time, truly hate yourself and what you see in the mirror.  You spend most of your time dreaming about the day you walk out the door without hiding behind your own hair.  You, in a way, hate the world.  I know you may not see it now, but one day you'll be thankful for this hell you had to experience.  It was the two years of hiding in your house where you discovered what the world had to offer and you discovered yourself.  If it wasn't for you,  Seventh Grade Sarah might of lived for eternity and that would of been very BAD.   You found your personality and everything else that created the person you are today.  Thanks, bae.

The girl who understands and believes in you.    

Dear Me of Now,

     Excuse me, Stranger Reading This, this is of no means a weird thing happening.  It's just me having a conversation with myself.  People do it all the time!  When I say "people", I mean my Mom when she thinks no one is around...
      Sarah/Sasha/Izzy/Nanny/Mom,  you've got to be the strangest person God has ever created.  You occasionally talk to people (mostly your little brother) in a wacked up squeaky voice and call your brother Juan, Shuan, or Shuanion.  I don't know why but it sure is fun!  You're seventeen and still don't know how to flirt with boys.  You somehow manage to friend zone boys without realizing it because you're just that natural around them.  I'm not sure if I should be mad or impressed!  You're family thinks you read and dream too much.  Pshhhhh, you're sane and that's all that matters!  Okay, this is getting weird.  Bye...me?

A really awesome chick.     

       I hope you enjoyed this?  I don't know, but I'm going to a One Direction concert tomorrow night and I am FREAKING OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S.  This post was inspired by my new friend, Nine.  Check her out!  >>> here<<<

Dream big, Darling!

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

My fear of falling (literally)!


lol nope

    I waited in line for the 30 foot jump.  Up, up, up we climbed.  My other friend, A, and best friend, R, talked to each other about who knows what (obviously I had other things on my mind than to listen to them!) and the two cute boys who were friends of R's older brother also joined in on the conversation.  Me?  I was repeating to myself, "I am Tris Prior.  I am Dauntless.  I can do this!  I can do this because the little boy in front of us is like eight years old and he won't stop talking about how much he loves jumping off this 30ft platform!  If he can do it, I can do it! I AM TRIS PRIOR!"  This, unfortunately, is false.  Suddenly, it was my turn and every bone in my body was saying, "No way, Jose!" Every thought in my mind was saying, "Just DO IT!  You cannot make yourself look like a coward in front of these two very attractive males!  Stop being a wussy!  YOU ARE FREAKING TRIS PRIOR!" 

lol nope

     I am not Tris Prior and, yes, I chickened out and walked my walk of shame down to the bottom of the stairs to see my four friends leaning over the railing anxiously waiting for me to come falling down into the water so they could hoorah! and give me a slap on the back saying, "See? That wasn't so bad!"  False.  This did not happen because a).  I am a coward.  b).  I am apparently not Dauntless.  and c).  No matter how much I wanted to impress those boys (which I really wanted to do), I could not step off that 30ft jump.

I did push myself off the 20ft jump which felt like I was plummeting to my death and other odious things.
     It's only twenty feet.  

One foot in front of the other.  Don't stop and look down.

  Just jump.  

one step...
                two steps...
                                  three steps...

There's nothing below me.

Just the water which is coming faster and faster.

Nothing carrying me, nothing supporting me.

I'm going to die! 

My stomach's in my mouth!

I'm dying! 

Scream! ...  Why is it soundless!?

Here comes the water!


Water everywhere.

I need air.

There it is.  

I am never doing that again.

...But hey, that zipline doesn't look so scary anymore.

     It's really not the heights that scare me because in all honestly, I LOVE heights!  But the falling, the falling is dreadful!  Please help me understand why I want to go skydiving so bad when I can't even drop 30ft.!?  What even!?!  I really do confuse myself... I'm going to be unconscious before I even get out of the damn plane.   I suppose I should get over this fear ASAP.  Oh well.

Dream big, Darling!

Friday, July 24, 2015

Thoughts and Tips on Journaling

My thoughts...

     To me, words have been an addiction.  Of course, it wasn't always that way.  At the start, they were annoying and difficult, but then they grew into a form of art and that art became my drug.  Today, words are my future.  I'm writing a book, I'm the author of this blog, and I'm a daily journal-er.  
     I think of journaling as a form of expression.  It can be a hate book, an adventure book, a book of joyful thoughts, or all of the above.  For little me, it was once nothing but a goal that I, year after year, failed to accomplish.  It was a consecutive item on my new year's resolutions.  But no worries, I finally decided to stop disappointing myself and today, I have a thick red notebook that sits under my pillow with entrees from today to January 1st.  Every thought and idea from every single day is written on those pages and here's how I did it...

My tips...

Number one:  It's easy to get one entree down on paper but it's even easier to stop completely and give up. Don't do this! Keep going and eventually, it'll turn into a habit.

Number two:  Like everything, your writing needs a motivator.  I like to think that maybe my journal will get buried at the bottom of a chest in an old attack and a stranger will find it.  Or maybe my great-great-grandchildren will stumble upon it.  Could you imagine finding your ancestor's journal full of her life and experiences!?  I know it's cheesy but this is my motivator.

Number three:  Discover your writing style!  You can write about your day, your frequent thoughts, music, experiences, adventures, anything!  I think of my journal as a ghost in my room who I tell everything to.  I'm at the point where if something exciting happens when I'm out and about, I look forward to coming home and writing it down more than coming home to sleep! 

Number four:  Several times a year, you're going to stumble across writer's block.  You're going to not feel like writing nor have anything to write about.  But you MUST write no matter what!  Write about your frustration with writer's block to push through writer's block.

Number five:  If you're on vacation or sleeping over at a friends house and you can't find the time to write, do it the next morning or when you find the time throughout the day.  I've had to do this multiple times!  It's not a big deal just try not to fall behind.

   What I'm trying to say is that you're NEVER going to regret what you wrote but what you didn't write.  Everything you experience is worth writing about.  Not only will writing help you get things off of your chest, but it will also improve your writing in general.

     I hope these few tips will help you!  If you have any further questions, comment below!

Dream big, Darlings!

Monday, July 20, 2015

Clothing Haul

     What does a girl love more than shopping!?  (For me it's books but that's besides the point.)  We love it because it's the easiest way to express ourselves, to feel fabulous, and to have a productive afternoon with friends.  Unfortunately, I went with my mom but it was all the more fun!

 Maroon Skirt:                                         Printed Skirt:
Store:  Forever 21                                    Store:  Forever 21
          Price:  $10.99                                          Price:  On sale for $8.99

 Striped Dress:                                         Red Dress:
          Store:  Forever 21                                    Store:  Forever 21
    Price:  $9.99                                             Price:  $14.99

Printed Dress:                                        Two Striped Shirts:
Store:  H & M                                          Store:  H & M
                                Price: $9.99                                              Price: 2 for $10

     Store:  Peebles
    Price:  $29.99

(Not shown)
Strapless Bra:
Store:  Victoria's Secret
Price:  $40.00
(Expensive but amazing and worth it)

Dream big, Darlings!

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Tennessee // Biltmore

#77.  Throw a penny into a fountain.

Some adventures are too beautiful for words.

Dream big, Darlings!